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Mall Rat (transcript)

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"Mall Rat (transcript)"
Season 1, Episode 3
Mall Rat Title Card
Production Code: 102A
Airdate: October 16, 2010
Villain(s) Featured: Verminious Snaptrap
D.O.O.M.
Credits
Writer(s): Ray DeLaurentis
Will Schifrin
Kevin Sullivan
Director(s): Ken Bruce
Storyboards by: Heather Martinez
Art Direction: George Goodchild
Story by: Butch Hartman
Scott Fellows
Music by: Guy Moon
Chronology
Previous
Doom-mates (transcript)
Next
Operation: Happy Birthday (transcript)


This article is a transcript of the T.U.F.F. Puppy episode, "Mall Rat" from Season 1. It aired on October 16, 2010.

Transcript

  • (episode starts in busy day at T.U.F.F. HQ's offices; Dudley is in his cubicle, typing away at his keyboard)
  • Kitty: (flips into frame) "Agent Puppy, we've got trouble." (holds newspaper) "Snaptrap's being released from prison today.
  • Dudley: (looks at monitor) "Oh, yeah.."
  • Kitty: "Did you hear me? The most dangerous villain in Petropolis is free!"
  • Dudley: (standing on chair, tail wagging) "Come to papa."
  • Kitty: (looks at monitor) "Are you surfing meat again?"
  • (image of a hot T-bone steak is on monitor)
  • Dudley: (startled) "Who me? No, that would be insensitive to Agent Bossy."
  • (cutaway to Agent Bossy, on other side of room)
  • Agent Bossy: (holding cup of milk) "Mooooo."
  • (lights go out, feed of Snaptrap displayed on monitors; all agents watch)
  • Snaptrap: (via monitors, dressed in an elegant tuxedo and wig) "Greetings citizens of Petropolis, it is I, Verminious Snaptrap.
  • Dudley: (to Kitty, who is annoyed) "Whoa! Snaptrap's out of jail? Why didn't you tell me?"
  • Snaptrap: "My lengthy stay in prison has taught me that crime doesn't pay! I also went a bit cuckoo and made a little friend out of soap." (holds up a bar of soap with a feminine face carved into it) "Say hello to Vivian!"
  • The Chief and T.U.F.F. Agents: (in unison, unenthusiastically) "Hello, Vivian."
  • Snaptrap: (embracing Vivian) "With her support, I've decided to stop being evil, and to prove I've changed-" (holds out script)-"I'm going to... DROWN YOU IN A TIDAL WAVE OF MOLTEN CHEESE!"
  • The Chief and T.U.F.F. Agents: (gasp)
  • Snaptrap: "Oh sorry that's an old speech." (throws script away) "Anywho, as my first gesture of goodwill-" (holds basket) "I'm gonna deliver muffin baskets to everyone in Petropolis. Snaptrap out!" (transmission ends)
  • Kitty: (suspicious) "Do you know what this means?"
  • Dudley: "Yeah! Free muffins!" (everyone begins celebrating, except for Kitty)
  • Kitty: "NO! Snaptrap hasn't reformed, he's just trying to trick us! Only an idiot would fall for it."
  • Dudley: (watches monitor, screams) "Look! It's a muffin blimp!"
  • (everyone runs out through door, flattening Kitty)
  • Keswick: (running) "Muffin b-blimp! O-oh yes.."
  • The Chief: (catching up, laughing) "Yay, muffins!"
  • (transition to next scene; people waiting in the streets for muffins from Snaptrap's blimp)
  • Crowd: (looking up at blimp, chanting) "Muffins! Muffins! Muffins!"
  • Kitty: "Get a grip people! You can't eat those muffins! They could be poisonous.. or bombs.. or or.. poisonous bombs!"
  • Dudley: (walks to front, to crowd) "Kitty might be right. You better let me eat all the muffins just to be safe. It's what heroes do." (rips of black shirt to reveal a blue muffin shirt) "HA, HA!" (pulls out knife and fork)
  • (muffins parachute down from the blimp in baskets; people hold out their plates to catch them, but Kitty blasts all the muffins, destroying them; charred parchutes land on the ground)
  • (Keswick grabs a burnt muffin from the ground and scans it with a device, then eats it)
  • Keswick: "Uh, they're not poisonous or bombs. They're buh-bleh-bleh-blueberry."
  • (Kitty is distraught; people boo her)
  • Little Chipmunk Girl: (tugs on Dudley's sleeve, speaks in a slight Southern accent) "Why does the mean lady blow up our muffins?"
  • Dudley: (emotional) "It's okay little chipmunk girl. We just have to be strong." (on his knees, to Kitty) "WHY MEAN LADY?! WHY?!"
  • (transition to next scene; in her cubicle at the T.U.F.F. office, Kitty pours milk into a cup; she receivers glares from the other agents as they pass by)
  • Agent Nutz: "What are you having for lunch today Kitty?"
  • Kitty: (smiles) "Anchovies." (holds anchovy sandwich)
  • (Agent Nutz blasts a hole through it)
  • Agent Nutz: (holding blaster) "I was gonna have muffin. Now we're even!" (walks off angrily; Kitty's sandwich disintegrates into ashes)
  • Dudley: (pops out behind cubicle wall) "Anchovies? He kinda did you a favor."
  • Keswick: (to everyone) "Agents we've received news that Snaptrap a-rah-rah..arrived at the beach in the D.O.O.M. blimp."
  • Dudley: (excitement) "Woohoohoohoo! I hope he's dropping meat baskets this time!"
  • Kitty: "Guys, I'm telling you. Snaptrap's evil, and he always will be."
  • Dudley: "C'mon Kitty, People can change! Agent Nutz used to be crazy, but look at him now." (motions to Agent Nutz)
  • Agent Nutz: (walking out of bathroom stall; points blaster at toilet and shoots) "Stop following me!"
  • The Chief: "Kitty may be right. Let's hit the beach and bring our blasters."
  • (quick transition to Petropolis Beach, raining; people under umbrellas, except for T.U.F.F. agents; Snaptrap's blimp arrives)
  • Snaptrap: (in blimp, via TV screen on its starboard side) "It is I, Verminious Snaptrap. For my next act of goodwill, I'm gonna use my weather cannon, to give you all a sunny day in the beach."
  • Crowd: (toss umbrellas) "Yay!"
  • Snaptrap: (holding bar of soap) "Fire when ready Vivian!"
  • Vivian: (voiced by Snaptrap) "Well you got it Mr. Snaptrap."
  • (weather cannon is lowered from blimp trap door; T.U.F.F. agents rip off their clothes to reveal beach attire and cheer)
  • Kitty: "That's no weather cannon! It's some kind of weapon."
  • (weather cannon is activate and clears the rainclouds; at the same time Kitty launches a rocket at the cannon, destroying it and allowing the stormy weather to return almost instantaneously)
  • Everyone: "Yeaaah!... aww.."
  • (agents stop cheering, people jeer Kitty again and walk off)
  • Dudley: "Whaddya know? It was a weather cannon."
  • Little Chipmunk Girl: (teary) "Why does the mean lady hate muffins and sunshine?"
  • Dudley: (emotional, hugs) "I don't know Little Chipmunk Girl.. these are dark days!" (cries)
  • (transition to Kitty and Dudley driving around the city in the T.U.F.F. Mobile)
  • Kitty: "Trust me Dudley, my instincts as a secret agent have never failed me. Snaptrap's just trying to win everybody over so he can do something really evil!"
  • (Snaptrap appears on monitor in T.U.F.F. Mobile)
  • Snaptrap: "It is I, Verminious Snaptrap here to announce my ultimate act of goodness. The grand opening of my new shopping mall, Snappy Town!" (image of mall appears) "Tell them more Vivian!"
  • VIvian: (Snaptrap) "There's ample parking, clean restrooms and free frozen yogurt y'all." (Snaptrap shown speaking; he smiles and the tranmission ceases)
  • Dudley: "Free frozen yogurt? Awesome! I'm starving, since I never got a muffin!" (Dudley drives into mall's parking lot) "Wow, Vivian was right. There is ample parking." (Dudley parks)
  • Kitty: "Dudley, I guarantee you that's not mall. It's some kind of a trap!"
  • Dudley: (enters through glass doors) "Oh no.. it is a trap. The most awesome trap ever! I'm gonna get my free yogurt, then hit the Pizza Mutt. Hi-gee-gee!" (runs off to queue at yogurt stall)
  • Keswick: (licks frozen yogurt on cone) "This yogurt's delicious."
  • The Chief: (holding cone) "And the bathroom's so clean you can eat your yogurt off the floor! In fact, I will." (jumps off Keswick's nose and runs off into the ladies' bathroom)
  • Dudley: (receives his free yogurt, licks to reveal chicken leg) "Meat-flavored yogurt! Snaptrap rules! Snaptrap rules!"
  • (people cheer their yogurt cones "Snaptrap rules! Snaptrap rules!", then cower as Kitty approach them)
  • Little Chipmunk Girl: "You're not gonna take away our yogurt like you took away our muffins and sunshine are you mean lady?"
  • (Kitty looks at people, they shiver in fear)
  • Kitty: "No little chipmunk girl.. your yogurt is safe." (walks off towards exit, disappointed)
  • Dudley: (narrow eyes) "Hey mean lady. Where are you going?"
  • Kitty: "I guess Snaptrap really has changed. My instincts aren't as good as I thought. I'm going home before I ruin anyone else's day."
  • Dudley: (runs; blocks exit from the outside) "Kitty, wait. Don't be so hard on yourself. You were just trying to protect everyone in your own super-violent, pushy, misguided, heartless.. I forgot my point." (entrances abruptly close, locking everyone inside; alarm bells ring and lights turn red)
  • Snaptrap: (via monitors) "It is I, Verminious Snaptrap and guess what-" (rips off tuxedo) "I never really changed! I'm still evil! And now that I've trapped you all inside Snappy Town, I'm gonna blast you into the sun! And make you pay for your yogurt." (evil laugh; people start panicking)
  • Kitty: (to Dudley, who is outside) "Aha! I was right about Snaptrap all along! I gotta do a little gloating dance." (pulls out pom-pons and shakes them around) "Go Kitty, good instincts, you are awesome!"
  • Snaptrap: (laughing) "Fools! Soon you will all perish.. and I will rule Petropolis! And Vivian will be my queen.." (holds out Vivian)
  • (rockets attached to the mall take off, bringing the mall with them into space; still on the ground, Dudley watches its launch)
  • Snaptrap: (laughing)
  • Francisco: "Eh boss, you're still in the mall."
  • Snaptrap: (in person, in front of the crowd) "Darn it! Larry, you forgot to put leave the mall in my to-do list." (to Francisco) "Is there a shark tank in this mall?"
  • Francisco: "No, but there's a cockroach in the dirty bathroom."
  • Snaptrap: (points) "Larry, go stand in the dirty bathroom!"
  • (Larry walks off)
  • (meanwhile, Kitty watches as the mall grows ever more distant from the Earth)
  • Kitty: (via wristcom) "Dudley, quick, get to the T.U.F.F. mobile. I have a plan."
  • Dudley: "Roger!"
  • Kitty: "No one says that anymore."
  • Dudley: "No, my friend Roger's standing behind you. Hey Roger!"
  • Roger: "Sup bro?"
  • (on the ground, Dudley launches the T.U.F.F. shuttle into space and pursues the mall)
  • Dudley: "T.U.F.F. shuttle activated! I'm coming Kitty!"
  • (in the mall)
  • The Chief: (on Keswick's nose) "I can't believe Snaptrap was lying! That means those bathroom floors weren't as clean as he said they were!" (spits and wipes tongue)
  • Keswick: (holds electronic device) "Chief, I've analyzed a blueprint of the mall. The bad news is there's absolutely no way to stop the mall from hurdling towards the sun."
  • The Chief: (observes) "Mmm. What's the good news?"
  • Keswick: "The food court's open till nine."
  • Kitty: "Keswick, give me that blueprint."
  • The Chief: "What's your plan Kitty?"
  • Kitty: "I'm gonna get Dudley to hurl us even faster towards the sun."
  • The Chief: (hesitant) "What's your back-up plan Kitty?"
  • Kitty: (to Dudley via monitor in the T.U.F.F. shuttle) "Dudley, there's a giant fuel tank on the bottom of the mall. (holds out blueprint device) "If you blast it with a rocket at exactly the right time, the explosion should accelerate us into the sun's orbit and slingshot us back to Earth.'
  • The Chief: "Keswick, will that actually work?"
  • Dudley: (via wristcom) "Trust her guys, she's got good instincts."
  • (Kitty smiles)
  • (rabbit guy jumps in)
  • Rabbit Guy: "Are you crazy? She blew up my muffin!"
  • Elephant Guy: (with umbrella hat) "She ruined my day at the beach."
  • Cat Guy: "She glued my cousin Francis to a moving train!"
  • The Chief: "No she didn't!"
  • Cat Guy: "Oh sorry I thought we were just yelling stuff."
  • (meanwhile Dudley is piloting the T.U.F.F. shuttle, his hands at the control yoke)
  • Kitty: (to Dudley, who is targetting the fuel tank) "Get ready to fire in 3..2..1.. NOW!"
  • (Dudley presses buttons and launches rocket, which strikes fuel tank and causes the mall to accelerate)
  • Kitty: "Nice shot Dudley! Now everyone hang on, it might get a little hot in here."
  • (people are trying to stay cool, including the Chief)
  • The Chief: (holding a portable electric fan) "What's the temperature Keswick?"
  • Keswick: (holds a thermometer) "112 degrees [Fahrenheit] sir." (Keswick's pants burn off) "Perfect survaa-survivable.. unless you're made of soap."
  • (somewhere else in the mall, Vivian is melting)
  • Snaptrap: "NOOO! Vivian! Now you'll never realize your dream of living in a fancy hotel men's room!" (cries)
  • Kitty: (holds a net shooter) "Cheer up Snaptrap. Once you're back in jail, you'll have plenty of time to make another soap friend."
  • Snaptrap: "Think again, hater of muffins and sunshine! Get her boys!"
  • (Francisco and Larry are cooling off in a fountain)
  • Francisco: "Ehh, it's too hot boss."
  • Kitty: "Ha!" (fires net, trapping Francisco and Larry)
  • (Snaptrap runs into a photo booth and Kitty pursues him; she beats him up and even poses with him on one of the resulting photos)
  • (at the same time, the mall continues to hurl towards the sun and everyone screams, but then it slingshots around the sun)
  • Keswick: (holding thermometer) "The temperature's dropping! We're moving away from the suh-suh-suh-sun!"
  • (everyone cheers; lands on the exact spot from which it took off; Kitty kicks Snaptrap out)
  • Snaptrap: (in cuffs) "I will now plot my revenge!" (to Kitty) "And I'd love a copy of those photos."
  • (transition to Snaptrap and his cronies being locked away in a paddywagon)
  • The Chief: "Great job Agents Katswell and Puppy, you two deserve a medal but all I could find in the mall was a soft pretzel and a pair of designer sunglasses [with a $4.95 tag on it]." (Dudley takes both)
  • Kitty: "Thanks for trusting me Dudley."
  • Dudley: "You bet. Now how about a gloating dance?"
  • (Kitty and Dudley do a gloating dance and chant)
  • Kitty: (chanting) "My instincts, were awesome."
  • Dudley: (chanting) "They're lucky. We saved them."
  • Kitty: "I get the glasses, you get the pretzel."
  • Dudley: "No I want, the glasses.. the pretzel, is stale."
  • (Dudley and Kitty fight over the sunglasses, break them)
  • Dudley: (holding mangled sunglasses) "You broke the sunglasses! Why mean lady? WHY?!" (crying on his knees; Kitty is annoyed)
  • (cutaway to an ending gag with Kitty and Dudley posing for an ending title card)
  • THE END

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