Operation: Happy Birthday (transcript)

"Operation: Happy Birthday (transcript)"
Season 1, Episode 4
Production Code:	102B
Airdate:	October 16, 2010
Credits
Writer(s):	Ray DeLaurentis Will Schifrin Kevin Sullivan
Director(s):	Michelle Bryan
Storyboards by:	Fred Gonzales
Art Direction:	George Goodchild
Story by:	Butch Hartman Scott Fellows
Music by:	Guy Moon
Chronology
Previous Mall Rat (transcript)	Next Snapnapped (transcript)

This article is a transcript of the T.U.F.F. Puppy episode, "Operation: Happy Birthday" from Season 1. It aired on October 2, 2010.

Transcript

• (episode starts at night: a T.U.F.F. helicopter flies over Petropolis' skyline, it pulls up over a rooftop and a group of T.U.F.F. operatives — wearing stealth gear — rappel out, they land on the roof)
• Dudley: (talking into wristcom) "Chief, we're in position."
• The Chief: "I know that, Agent Puppy. I'm on your head." (Dudley looks up, The Chief talks to everyone) "T.U.F.F. Agents, this could be our most dangerous mission yet. Good luck."
• (agents sneak into an apartment and assume positions: pig agent rolls in through an air duct, raccoon agent swivels inside through the windows [while attached via suction cups] and Dudley emergs from the toilet bowl with the Chief on top of his head; Dudley is about to leave, but he returns to lick the toilet before leaving)
• Keswick: (hiding behind a potted plant) "puh-puh-puh-Positions, everyone." (agents peer out from their hiding places) "It's go time."
• (door opens; Kitty walks through, flips the light switch and drops her keys into her pocket)
• (Dudley, The Chief, Keswick and the agents jump out and yell in unison)
• Everyone: "SURPRIIIIISE!"
• Kitty: "Aaaahh!" (reflex; pulls out a laser pistol and fires a burst)
• (view pans from left to right, showing the damage Kitty has done to her own surprise party: the gifts, balloons, banner and guests are burnt and one of the agents falls from the ceiling)
• Dudley: (burnt and missing a tooth; opens up a briefcase with a birthday cake inside) "Happy Birthday Kitty?"
• Kitty: (embarrassed) "Whoa. Sorry guys. But you should know better than to sneak up on a secret agent."
• (clown kicks door open and bursts in)
• Clown: "Where's the birthday girl? (honks clown horn)
• (Kitty blasts him, he grunts as he is knocked backwards and his shoes fly off his feet, smoke rises from his shoes, Kitty is lost for words)
• Keswick: (emphasis into wristcom) "The clown is down! Repeat, the clown is down!
• Dudley: "Someone better warn the pizza guy." (looks up at Chief, who is still on his head)
• (T.U.F.F. transition to the morning after, at T.U.F.F. headquarters, some of the people Kitty blasted the previous night are lying on beds in a medical ward, while others are standing in crutches, almost everyone is set in casts)
• (Kitty walks in, somewhat muffled and ashamed)
• Kitty: (hesitantly) "Hey everyone."
• (the men in crutches flee from her, screaming, Dudley slides into frame)
• Dudley: "Hey Kitty (Birthday Girl)! How's it goin'?"
• Kitty: (walks off frustrated) "Not good Dudley."
• (cut to a different area of the T.U.F.F. headquarters)
• Dudley: "Anyway, it's still your birthday. Whaddya got planned?
• Kitty: (sighs; types away at computer) "I'm gonna work 'til six and then I'm meeting with the clown's lawyer."
• Dudley: "Forget that!" (pulls Kitty aside and screams into her ear) I'm your partner and I'm gonna make sure you have the GREATEST BIRTHDAAY EVVVVERRRRRRR!" (spins Kitty around in her office chair and shouts)
• Kitty: (pulls herself back to desk, dejected) "Not gonna happen. My birthday's are always a disaster. It's been that way ever since I was a kitten."
• Dudley: "Oh come on, you're exaggerating."
• Keswick: (in the background, startles Kitty and Dudley) "Let's find out." (walks over) "This is the perfect opportunity to try out my newest invention, the fla-fla-Flashbacker." (pulls out remote control device and presses button; a two-tier cake materializes out of thin air) "Whoops, that's the Flashbaker." (chuckles in embarrassment, sticks Flashbaker onto cake and throws it away)
• Dudley: "CAAAKE!" (dives towards cake, catching it, hugs cake)
• (Keswick pulls out another identical-looking device, aims it at Kitty and presses a button, projecting a beam into her head, flashbacks of her old birthday memories appear in vignette form)
• (static; Kitty is shown as a five year old, wanting to play she jumps into an inflatable castle filled with other kids, with her claws protacted; this rips holes into the castle, causing air to rush inside and launch it upwards; Kitty falls out but the other kids remain inside the castle, which drifts high enough to be sucked into the engine of a passenger jet and shredded to bits; the children hang in the air in a cloud of dust with most of their clothes torn to pieces, they fall)
• (transition to next flashback via static, everyone is gathered for Kitty's twelfth birthday party, the mouse magician shouts "Ta-da!" and runs to the right.. to be pounced upon and gobbled by Kitty, who reverts to her feline instincts, the other kids scream)
• (cut to Kitty cleaning her teeth with her claws)
• Mrs. Katswell: (rushes into frame) "Kitty! That was the magician!"
• (Kitty burps out a rope of endless handkerchiefs and starts pulling them out)
• (static back to the present; flashback scene ends)
• Kitty: "See what I mean?"
• Dudley: (gobbles a slice of cake while walking over to Kitty) "Sorry, I wasn't really paying attention. I was playing with the Flashbaker." (presses button on Flashbaker; cakes appear on Kitty) "Whaddya say we stick a candle in one of these babies and celebrate your BIRTHDAAAY?!" (shouts, cakes flies off) "YEEAAAHHHHH!"
• Kitty: "No, I just wanna have a normal day."
• (Snaptrap appears on giant monitors, T.U.F.F. agents observe)
• Snaptrap: (broadcasting from his lair) "Attention T.U.F.F. agents. It is I, Verminious Snaptrap, supreme leader of DO-" (notices he's pointing in the wrong direction; points at sign to right) "-of D.O.O.M." (laughs maniacally, stops, looks into camera) "I don't see the red light. Am I on?! Somebody get the IT guy!"
• Ollie: "You're on boss. Besides, you fed the IT guy to the sharks when your computer froze."
• Snaptrap: "Oh right. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, I have jammed the airwaves, to announce my most diabolical plan ever." (chuckles) "In exactly twelve hours, I am gonna do something so evil that it's uhh... uh, uh-can't-be described-in-words! Snaptrap out!" (smiles) "Okay, now I see the red light. Am I out?"
• Ollie: (peers into frame) "Still on boss.. The IT guy was the only one who knew how to turn off the camera."
• (Snaptrap growls, fires his blaster)
• Larry: (off-screen, hit) "Ow my eye!"
• Snaptrap: "Sorry Larry, I was aiming at the camera." (fires blaster again, knocking camera offline)
• (monitors turn to static, then T.U.F.F. logo)
• Kitty: "There! That's what I want for my birthday: to catch Snaptrap."
• The Chief: (rolls in on his TV screen unicycle) "You got it Agent Katswell! You and Agent Puppy are on the case!"
• (T.U.F.F. transition to the D.O.O.M. headquarters, Snaptrap, Ollie, Larry, Bad Dog and Francisco are seated around a skull-shaped table)
• Snaptrap: "I need an evil plan!"
• Francisco: "Eh, you mean you don't have one boss?"
• Snaptrap: "Noo! I just really wanted to be on TV! Then I kinda shot my mouth off."
• Larry: (wearing a sling and bandages) "Then you shot me."
• Snaptrap: "I said I was sorry Larry! Maybe you'd be happier with the IT guy?!" (presses button)
• (floor behind Larry opens up to reveal a pool of water, Larry screams as his chair flings him off and into the pool; he is flung into the air as four sharks try and chomp down on him)
• Larry: "Oh the teeth!"
• (cut back to Snaptrap)
• Snaptrap: "Come on people! I made a big announcement! I really stuck my neck out." (bell rings) "Oohoohoo, lunch time." (everyone pulls out paper lunch bags, Snaptrap pulls a sandwich out of his) "Yuck! My mom packed me pimento loaf again." (threatens Ollie and switches his with Ollie's cheese one) "Trade with me or perish!" (Snaptrap takes a bite) "Oh this is delicious! What is it?"
• Ollie: (holding Snaptrap's sandwich; hesitant) "Grilled cheese on cheese bread."
• Snaptrap: "WHAT? AAAGGGHHHH! I'm horribly allergic to cheese!" (puffs up)
• Francisco: "Hah! A rat that's allergic to cheese." (everyone laughs at Snaptrap)
• Snaptrap: (puffed up, bangs fist on table) "Silence! I'm aware of the irony.... Hold the phone! That gives me an idea. If I can't have cheese, I'll make sure no one can! But first I'll need an antihistamine, and a little straw for my juicebox." (pulls out juice box)
• (T.U.F.F. transition to Kitty and Dudley driving down the streets of Petropolis in the T.U.F.F. Mobile, Kitty is grumpy while Dudley tries to be encouraging)
• Dudley: "Oh come on, so your birthday's been kind of a downer. Let's crank up some tunes to cheer..you..up! (presses button dashboard, bringing up bone-shaped monitor screen)
• Keswick: (appears via monitor) "Agents Puppy and Katswell, I have no tunes but I do have neh-n-neh-news. Snaptrap is robbing the refrigerator m-mah-mah-magnet mart."
• Dudley: "The magnet mart? That fiend! Wait, that's kinda stupid. That stupid fiend!"
• Kitty: "We're on it Keswick."
• (T.U.F.F. Mobile comes to a screeching halt and does a quick u-turn by raising its chassis and rotating its body 180°, it drives off)
• (cut to the Petropolis Mall; Snaptrap laughs while he and his minions haul shopping carts filled with fridge magents out of the Magnet Mart)
• Snaptrap: "Phase One of my evil plan, is complete! Now where did we park?"
• Francisco: "I don't know boss, Larry's the one who usually remembers that."
• Snaptrap: (sarcastic) "Oh, well why don't you drive back to headquarters, jump in the shark tank and ask Larry? Oh wait, you can't, 'cause we don't know where the car is!"
• (T.U.F.F. Mobile arrives in the vicinity; Kitty steps out)
• Kitty: (armed with a rifle) "Freeze Snaptrap!" (fires a ball of rope at Snaptrap — who screams — and his henchmen; it unfolds and traps them)
• Dudley: (steps out of T.U.F.F. mobile) "Well Kitty, you caught your bad guy. Now let's get back to Operation: Happy Birthday!"
• (Dudley opens T.U.F.F. mobile's trunk, grabs bouquet of helium balloons and laughs as he ties it to Kitty's tail, she drops her rifle and begins drifting into the air, Dudley grabs onto her)
• Kitty: "You bonehead!"
• (Snaptrap lifts net off him and his cronies; presses button on key fob and car beeps, they look towards their left, and see the D.O.O.M. truck)
• Snaptrap: "Oh there's the car! It was right here the whole time." (they haul their carts into the truck and drive off)
• (cut back to Kitty and Dudley, who are being carried away by the helium balloons, Kitty tries to fend off Dudley — who is holding onto her leg — with her claws, she accidentally pops all the balloons, Kitty screams as they fall, they land on the ground with a thud)
• Dudley: (off-screen) "Awesome! Kitty are you awake?"
• (T.U.F.F. transition to Kitty and Dudley driving down the streets once again; Kitty is still grumpy and Dudley is poking his head out in the breeze, Keswick gives instructions via the bone-shaped communicator)
• Keswick: "Attention agents, I have new intel that Snaptrap's st-st-stealing the world's biggest chili pot."
• Dudley: (serious) "What's his location?"
• Keswick: "Well duh, he's at the World's Biggest Chili Pot Store." (looks off-screen) "Honestly, where do we find these people Chief?"
• (Snaptrap, his minions and several other henchmen are lifting a giant chili pot out of the World's Biggest Chili Pot Store, Kitty pulls up across the street)
• Kitty: "We're outnumbered. We'll need the element of surprise."
• (Dudley and Kitty sneak behind a building wall as they observe Snaptrap and his minions)
• Dudley: "Speaking of surprises, I got you something awesome!" (hands envelope with her name, to Kitty)
• Kitty: (whispers) "Thank you but not now!"
• Dudley: "Okay, I'll open it for you."
• (Dudley tears it apart and opens up a musical fanfare birthday card complete with a drum, trumpet and fireworks — it fires the words "Happy Birthday Kitty" into the sky, sensing that the fanfare will give their position away, Kitty grabs the card from Dudley, throws it onto the ground and crushes it by jumping up and down, with the fanfare dying off slowly, she takes out her blaster and fires a shot at it, leaving silence and a hole in the sidewalk)
• Dudley: (jumps up) "I told you it was awesome!"
• (Dudley and Kitty are lassoed by someone off-frame and flung into the chili pot, Bad Dog and Snaptrap shut the lid)
• Snaptrap: "Now, nothing can stop me from carrying out my evil plan." (laughs) "Wait, where did we park?"
• (T.U.F.F. transition to D.O.O.M. headquarters, Kitty and Dudley are tied together, suspended in the air from a rope, Bad Dog is pouring a cart of fridge magnets into the chili pot — now filled with bubbling molten liquid — which is now being used as a crucible, Snaptrap uses a crane to elevate himself to Dudley and Kitty)
• Snaptrap: "Agents Puppy and Katswell, I'm glad you could be here to witness my most diabolical act of evil ever. And I'll finally be rid of my cheese allergy! Because I'm gonna eliminate, all the cheese in the world!" (as the liquid in the pot is poured into a horseshoe-shaped mold) "I've used this giant chili pot to melt one million refrigerator magnets into the world's biggest, wait for it....cheese magnet!" (machine presses the molten metal, causing it to solidify rapidly; the magnet is raised into the air; Snaptrap laughs)
• Dudley: "Okay, you've got a magnet. But what makes it a cheese magnet?"
• Snaptrap: (lowers crane and switches lever to cheese) "Duuuh, you just set it to cheese. Honestly, where do they find you people?" (raises crane) "Soon the world will be cheese-free! Mac and cheese will become mac and "nothing", fondue will be come fon-"don't"... and pizza will become... uh... well... "PIZZA WITHOUT CHEESE!"
• Dudley: (whimpers, breaks into tears) "Pizza without cheese?!? This is the worst day ever! Aargh, somebody's gotta stop this madman!"
• Kitty: (irritated) "Relax Dudley, there are still cows, they'll make more cheese."
• Snaptrap: (grins) "Not if I set my magnet to cow!" (scribbles 'fish' label above lever and writes "cow")
• Dudley: (cries) "Ohhh! He has a cow setting!"
• Snaptrap: (sinister smile, presses button on crane's control panel) "Don't worry Agent Puppy, you won't miss cheese where you're going... which is into my shark tank!" (floor opens to reveal a pool of bubbling lava) "Oh drat, it's a lava pit. Well, the lava pit will do. GOODBYE, T.U.F.F. agents!" (pulls lever, slowly lowering Dudley and Kitty into lava pit)
• Kitty: "This is all your fault Dudley! We never would have been captured if you hadn't kept trying to celebrate my birthday!
• Dudley: "Wait! That gives me an idea! Hey Snaptrap, you wouldn't waste someone before they celebrated their birthday, would you?"
• Snaptrap: (on crane) "Of course not, no one's that evil!"
• Dudley: "Well, it's Kitty's birthday and she still hasn't had a party."
• Snaptrap: "That's crazy!" (pulls lever, closing the lava pit and stopping their just in time descent) "Look, we'll do a little birthday thing and then I'll drop you in the lava."
• Kitty: (whispers) "Good work Dudley, we're still doomed but at least we get cake!"
• Snaptrap: "Let's make this quick people! Break out the balloons and the party hats."
• (Snaptrap's henchmen prepare a piñata, a bowl of punch, hats and party balloons)
• Dudley: (still tied, but at ground level) "All we're missing is a birthday cake. Luckily, I've got my Flashbaker." (presses button on Flashbaker, a yellow cake with pink borders and trim appears on table, out of thin air)
• Snaptrap: (moves his crane towards table) "Oooh, that looks delicious! But I get the first piece!" (cuts piece off cake and gobbles down everything except for the piece) "Yummy! What kind of cake is this?"
• Dudley: (smug) "It's cheesecake, Snaptrap."
• Snaptrap: (smile disappears) "A cake... made of cheese?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" (his buttons fly off as he puffs up)
• (Snaptrap puffs up while in his crane, growing to such a size that he presses against his control panel, activating all of the D.O.O.M. headquarters' security weapons)
• (a giant boxing glove comes out of a portal in the wall and punches a D.O.O.M. agent, the shark tank opens up another Ollie, Francisco and another agent — they jump into the air to avoid the sharks' jaws, just as he is about to hit the piñata, a giant Acme anvil falls on Bad Dog and several other agents)
• (a portal opens in the wall, from where knives, corkscrews, darts, scissors and other sharp objects come flying out and towards Dudley and Kitty; they dodge and evade them, then let a circular saw blade pass right through them, cutting the ropes and setting them free)
• Snaptrap: (puffed-up, still on his crane) "You're too late!" (pulls lever, activating magnet's rays)
• Dudley: (adjusts Flashbaker) "Setting phasers to pie!" (fires pie at Snaptrap off his crane and into the beam of his magnet ray, where he levitates)
• (Snaptrap looks up into the sky, where all the pieces of cheese attracted by his magnet ray are diving towards him; in shock he screams, only for all the cheese to fly into his mouth filling him up; puffed up even more, he falls)
• Snaptrap: "I shall now, plot my revenge! After I take an antihistamine."
• (cut to pass time; Snaptrap, Ollie, Francisco, Bad Dog and the other D.O.O.M. agents are tied up, Kitty and Dudley are satisfied)
• Kitty: "Dudley, we did it! Thanks to you I got what I wanted for my birthday. I caught a bad guy!" (tears up, cries in joy) "This is the greatest birthday ever."
• Dudley: "Well your birthday's not over yet. Whaddya say we set this magnet to par-tay?"
• Kitty: (unimpressed) "You set it to cow."
• (time slows down as cows come falling from the sky. Kitty and Dudley flee in slow motion, a cow falls right behind them, throwing them into the air)
• Dudley: "Happy Birthday, Kitty!"
• (Kitty and Dudley strike a pose for the ending gag)
• (THE END)

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Alternate Ending

• (time slows down as cows come falling from the sky, Kitty and Dudley flee in slow motion, a cow falls right behind them, throwing them into the air)
• Dudley: "Happy Birthday, Kitty!"
• (Kitty pushes Dudley away)
• Dudley: I'm okay.
• (Kitty strikes a pose for the ending gag)
• (THE END)

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