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The Doomies (transcript)

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This article is a transcript of T.U.F.F. Puppy episode, "The Doomies", from Season 1. It aired on November 27, 2010.

Transcript

  • Snaptrap (VO): Live, from an undisclosed location in the seedy underbelly of Petropolis, it's the Doomies!
  • (A logo saying "The Doomie Awards", with an outline of a Doomie trophy, slides in from the bottom-left corner before a bomb is thrown at it, exploding)
  • Snaptrap (VO): The award show where bad guys perform live acts of villainy in the hopes of being named "Villain of The Year"! (at this point, Snaptrap is shown) I'm Verminious Snaptrap, and I'm not just your host - I'm also a nominee!
  • Larry: Who never wins!
  • Snaptrap: Put a sock in it, Larry!
  • Larry: Well, it's true. Last year you were the only nominee, and you still lost.
  • Snaptrap: (begins to sob) Okay - that was quite harsh, Larry... (voice cracks) go to commercials!
  • Dudley: I can't believe there's an award show For villains. I look pretty good in a tux. Ha!
  • Kitty: You know, when they say black tie, they also mean pants.
  • Dudley: (offended by Kitty's sentence) Oh yeah. I heard there was free shrimp at the buffet. So I turned my pants into a shrimp sack.
  • The Chief: Agents Katswell and Puppy, it's up to you to thwart the live act of villainy at the Doomies tonight.
  • Keswick: You'll be disguising as two of the most diabolical v-v-villains in Petropolis. (shows a picture of his mom and dad) Oops. That's my parents at their 15th wedding anniversary. They're not so much evil as they are overbearing and j-j-judgmental. Sorry I'm not a doctor, mom and dad, let it go!!!!!
  • Kitty: Um, Keswick?
  • Keswick: Ahem, you'll be disguised as Dr. Rabies and Madame Catastrophe, two villains we captured earlier that bear a striking resemblance to both of you. If they didn't, I'd have to perform plastic surgery. And as my parents are quick to point out I'm not a doctor. Pretty darn critical for a plumber and a car wash cashier.
  • (Dudley and Kitty put on a goatee and eye patch and head to the Doomies)
  • Dudley: Kitty, every bad guy in the world is here.
  • Kitty: Yeah it's a cornucopia of evil.
  • Dudley: A What?
  • Kitty: Sorry my Uncle Doug gave me those word of the day calendars. He's abunculer. Oh look, gift bags!
  • Dudley: A Snaptrap bobblehead? A cheese knife? And look, a Mini Raygun keychain with hot and cold settings. (freezes Mad Cow) Sorry Mad Cow! Oh ice cream!
  • Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the Doomie awards. Please welcome your host, Verminous Snaptrap.
  • (Snaptrap knocks down girl cats into the shark tank.)
  • Snaptrap: Thank you. You're all worthless and weak. It's time to introduce our first nominee for villain of the year. Give an evil round of applause for... Bird Brain! Or should I say lame brain cause his plan can't be nearly as good as mine...
  • Bird Brain: Behold, my egg-sploding egg. When I push this plunger, life as you know it will soon cease to egg-xist. (laughs maniacally) oh, I could do this all day, egg puns are egg-citing. (laughs maniacally)
  • Kitty: Come on Dudley, it's time to quell that miscreant.
  • Dudley: What?
  • Kitty: Oh, it's the calendar, let's go.
  • Kitty and Dudley: Excuse me.

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